The Definition of Divorce

by Benjamin West

Besides a description as the dissolution of marriage, divorce is explained in the dictionary as the separation between things that should go together. For many people who experience the termination of their marriage, divorce can be quite a shock. Part of that shock may be the realization that they were wrong when they married and were so sure they belonged together.

Some people I have spoken with admit they were surprised at the feeling that they failed in their relationship. Having once been divorced myself, my reaction was different. I had thoughts of ending my marriage and gaining freedom for years before I confronted my husband with the request for divorce. As a result, when I finally told my husband I wanted a divorce, he was the only one who was shocked.

The feeling of failure was because I thought I should have recognized before we married that my husband and I were actually not “things” that should go together. If we had both known this fact, we would have saved our families and ourselves a lot of misery and money.

We had no children so the situation might have been a little different from those divorced couples who did. The fact that there were no children involved may have influenced my feelings. So rather than a sense of failure and shock, I actually felt relief when it was finally over.

The outcome of the decision to separate has a huge impact on children that were not involved in the decision-making process. Conversations with divorced friends with children have shown that children have more difficulty dealing with divorce than spouses do.

Two people decide to marry and they make that decision partly because they are positive that they belong together. Obviously, we can discount those couples who do so for monetary reasons or perhaps immigration purposes. The actuality is that no one can know that they belong together until they live together. My mother told me that many years ago. As a matter of fact, she said that you can never really know anyone until you work with them or live with them.

After reading the dictionary definition of divorce, I do agree that people marry another person because they feel they belong together. But the reason for divorce is that once they live together and maybe even have a family, they may find out that they don’t, in fact, go together, which results in divorce.

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